{{NSFW}}
>be me
>be 13
>i love shrek, i pray to shrek every night
>my dad hears this, and warns me that shrek kills people
>i know he’s just jealous of my devotion to shrek
>i call him a cunt
>he sends me to my room
>i feel a warmth moving towards me
>it’s shrek
>he takes off my pants, places me down
>i expect his penis
>it’s actually a sub-machine gun
>he pulls the trigger
>it hurts as shrek is filling my butt with hot lead
>shrek says “It’s all ogre now.”
>he takes the gun out of my butt
>he grabs my legs, and rips me in half
>he throws my corpse out of the window, and jumps out of the window
>Shrek is Hate
>Shrek is Death
>Shrek is Drek